#freak world

[haootia]

the xbox is a Machine. the playstation is a Device. the switch is a Toy. the personal computer is also a Machine. what the world needs, is a way to play video games on a Contraption

[adam-scott]

SEVERANCE #02.01: ‘Hello, Ms. Cobel’ + REDDIT TEXT POSTS [Episode 2]

[flwrkid14]

Love and Obsession: The Tim Drake Way

part 2

Everyone in the Batfamily knows Tim Drake has… issues with boundaries. They’ve spent years trying to teach him what’s appropriate and what’s—well—deeply unsettling and completely invasive. To be fair, he’s learned. Mostly. He doesn’t stalk his family anymore (much), and he no longer pulls up files on every single person they talk to (okay, maybe just sometimes). But it’s progress.

But then Tim starts dating Danny Fenton. And, oh boy, a few screws come loose.

It starts small, as always. Just little things. Tim’s a detective, after all—background checks are second nature. Danny’s living in Gotham, and Gotham isn’t safe. So, really, what’s the harm in knowing a little more about Danny’s friends? And his professors? And maybe also his classmates? It’s just standard protocol. Okay?

“Tim, you’ve run a full dossier on my entire biology class?” Danny asks one day, laughing as he flips through a file on the coffee table. Tim shrugs. “What if one of them is dangerous?” “Pretty sure the most dangerous thing in that class is the midterm.”

Danny doesn’t think much of it. He’s a little flattered, even. Tim’s protective. It’s sweet.

But Tim’s mind doesn’t stop there. Danny’s too handsome. Too charming. What if someone tries to hurt him? What if someone tries to take him away? It’s not obsessive—it’s just concern. So, a tracker on Danny’s phone? Necessary. Cameras in his apartment? Standard. Monitoring his sleeping patterns and hangout spots? Logical.

Tim tells himself it’s love. And maybe a little insecurity.

“You have a tracker on his phone?” Dick asks, trying not to sound alarmed. Tim nods, like it’s the most normal thing in the world. “Of course. What if something happens to him?” “And the cameras?” “Safety.” “The background checks on his professors?” “Gotham U isn’t exactly known for its stellar staff, Dick.”

It doesn’t stop there. Tim knows everything. Danny’s eating habits, his favorite places to go when he’s stressed, his childhood allergies. Tim’s mapped out Danny’s entire life. He knows about Danny’s ghost powers too—of course he does. He’s Tim Drake. The moment he realized Danny was Phantom, it just… clicked.

Danny being half-ghost? That’s just one more reason to worry. Tim’s up late at night, watching for any signs of ectoplasmic interference. He tracks the energy spikes. He monitors Danny’s fights.

He doesn’t think Danny knows. He’s terrified of what will happen if he finds out.

But then he does.

One evening, Danny walks into Tim’s apartment and casually drops a folder on the table. Tim’s heart stops.

“What’s this?” Danny asks, raising an eyebrow. Tim swallows hard. “I… it’s just…” “You’ve been tracking me?” Danny opens the file, glancing through pages of surveillance reports, background checks, even analysis of his ectoplasmic energy. Tim feels like his world is about to shatter.

“I… I can explain,” Tim says, his voice tight. “I’m just… worried about you. You’re in danger all the time, and I—” Danny walks over, cupping Tim’s face in his hands. Tim braces for the worst.

But Danny just smiles. “Can I put a tracker on you too?”

Tim blinks. “What?” Danny kisses his cheek. “If you’re watching my back, it’s only fair I watch yours. I need to make sure you’re safe too.”

Tim stares at him, speechless. Danny doesn’t look scared. Or angry. He looks… fond. Like Tim’s obsessive tendencies aren’t a problem at all.

“I’ve never had someone care about me this much,” Danny says softly. “I trust you with my life, Tim. This? This just proves how serious you are.”

Tim thinks he’s just fallen deeper in love.

-------------------

The Batfamily? They’re worried.

Jason corners Tim in the cave. “Okay, so let me get this straight. You’ve got cameras in his apartment. You’ve mapped out his entire life. You’ve got a tracker on him and a heartbeat monitor. And he’s… fine with it?” Tim nods, a dreamy smile on his face. “Yeah. He even wants to put a tracker on me.” “That’s not… healthy, Tim,” Dick says carefully. “That’s—” “It’s mutual,” Tim interrupts. “We’re protecting each other.”

Bruce pinches the bridge of his nose. “Tim, this isn’t how relationships are supposed to work.” Tim shrugs. “It’s how ours works.”

Damian watches the whole thing with narrowed eyes. “This is deeply unsettling,” he mutters.

They try to talk to Danny. Intervention style. They invite him over, sit him down, and gently (or not so gently) try to explain that Tim’s behavior isn’t normal.

Danny just laughs. “You guys do know I’m half-ghost, right?” “That doesn’t mean—” Dick starts. “I spent my entire life being hunted by ghost hunters. I’ve had worse invasions of privacy.” Danny smiles. “Tim cares. He keeps me safe. That’s all I need.”

The bats don't quite know what to say.

-------------------

Tim and Danny, two slightly unhinged souls who think mutual surveillance is the ultimate act of love.

The bats? They’re just trying to keep up.

(“At least they’re happy?” Barbara offers weakly. Bruce sighs. “For now.”)

Gotham’s version of love was never going to be normal. But this? This is a whole new level.

[dreamchasernina]

Netflix, I don’t know how to tell you this but a woman doesn’t have to be self taught to be a strong female character. It’s ok to let her know her limitation and ask for help. It’s ok to let her get angry, it’s ok to let her be jealous, it’s ok to let your female character have flaws and WORK on them. Your female character doesn’t have to become a master on her own to be memorable, it just makes her accomplishment feel unearned.

[mischievous-thunder]

It's a special skill set, Logan. Wade wants you to make good use of it over and over again!

[notherpuppet]

How the old timey prick got his pet

[coochiekrab]

Your drunk aunt at Christmas who struggles to cope with the fact that Santa isnt real

[freakdoodles]

So I had an epiphany

[somerandomcockroach]

My brain shut me out of the world, so doodles

[not-from-mars]

anyways i’m glad they let the doctor be deeply strange and a bit off putting. as they should be.

[acidicgrimace]

“i dont want to be alone.”

Rodger knows he has to leave eventually. But maybe for now, he can ease his mind.

[haootia]

variations on "feel old yet" meme:

lying (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 36 years ago

lying (undershooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 7 years ago

lying by a ridiculous amount (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 900 years ago

lying by a ridiculous amount (undershooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 15 minutes ago

real date of event no one reading was alive for: feel old yet? the great san francisco earthquake happened 118 years ago

real date of event no one reading was alive for or cares about: feel old yet? prince frederick henry died 395 years ago

event no one reading was alive for and also lying: feel old yet? the great san francisco earthquake happened 4 years ago

event that did not happen: feel old yet? brian mulroney was assassinated 48 years ago

event that did not happen and even if it did this would be a lie: feel old yet? brian mulroney was assassinated 197 years ago

real date of event on a cosmological scale: feel old yet? the sun was formed 4,600,000,000 years ago

lying on a cosmological scale (undershooting): feel old yet? the sun was formed 12 years ago

lying on a cosmological scale (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 12,000,000,000 years ago

real date of a personal anecdote that only you know or card about: feel old yet? i made a really good stir fry 5 years ago

reversal: feel young yet? frozen 3 is coming out in 3 years

reversal on a cosmological scale: feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 8,000,000,000 years

reversal (lying about event): feel young yet? the first episode of spongebob will air in 3 years

reversal (lying about time, overshooting): feel young yet? frozen 3 is coming out in 8,000,000,000 years

reversal (lying about time, undershooting): feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 3 years

reversal (lying about time, really undershooting): feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 12 minutes

real date of a recurring event that wasn't very long ago: feel old yet? halloween was 13 days ago

lying about recurring event: feel old yet? halloween was 10,000 years ago

reversal of recurring event: feel young yet? thursday is tomorrow

reversal of personal anecdote: feel young yet? my laundry is done in 52 minutes

real(?) date of a nonspecific event: feel old yet? something happened 2 years ago

lying about the reader (undershooting): feel old yet? you were born 5 years ago

lying about the reader (overshooting): feel old yet? you were born 650 years ago

making a reasonable guess about the reader: feel old yet? you were born 22 years ago

technically telling the truth about the reader: feel old yet? you were born between 0 and 120 years ago

threatening the reader: feel young yet? you will die in 7 days

non sequitur: feel old yet? half of all chameleon species on earth live in madagascar

non sequitur (lying): feel old yet? chameleons are immune to fire

lying on several levels: feel old yet? chameleons were invented 36 years ago

self-reference: feel old yet? i started writing this post 40 minutes ago

giving up: feel old yyet?th e emmenkr,tn dbw a 8 gn m hk\

i can't finish the joke someone else come up with a punchline: feel old yet?

declarative statement: you feel old.

subversive declarative statement: time isn't even real.

reference another meme: feel old yet? yeah. this is the beach that makes you old.

reference another meme specifically about injecting non sequiturs into long posts: feel old yet? the glue that lets you walk up and down anything was invented 36 years ago

[nelkcats]

The Great One

Far Frozen is not the only place with carvings of a half-ghost hero, and Danny has been inadvertently traveling between dimensions during his adventures, causing impacts both good and bad.

For one thing, carvings of his battles with Vlad are in Themyscira itself, assessed by an excited young Diana who wonders if such a being really existed, someone who relentlessly pursued evil and fought for justice. The young Amazon spent days admiring the murals, much to the dismay of her mother who was unsure if this happening was a good thing or not. In a way it was part of the reason she decided to leave her island later in life so maybe a mix of both.

Elsewhere, in Nanda Parbat, Ra reflects on murals of a creature bathed in shadows and ice, toxic green eyes that betray his connections to the afterlife and razor sharp fangs. A story for children who fear monsters under their bed, except that his family has proof that it existed, the Lazarus pits only served to confirm their theories. Ra thinks this is what the powerful deserves, immortality.

Even Arthur has found his castle walls filled with carvings of two creatures chasing each other, like day and night. There are tales of how they set the city ablaze in a single day, causing irreparable damage but not taking a single life despite their battles. Beings driven by emotion, persecution and intrigue, but without being benevolent or malevolent. A sample that any creature is imperfect, in a way he thinks it is poetic.

Everyone interprets these beings in their own way, creating their own legends from the anecdotes that were recorded by their ancestors. They never have the same title, no one decides on a name and no one seems to agree on whether these beings are benevolent or malevolent. Whether they are enemies, friends, rivals, or something else.

For some they are a moral lesson, for others a guide, in some cases they are considered righteous heroes, while in others they are the worst enemies of the living, the only sure thing is that they are recognized, one way or another.

Of course, this leads to disaster when Danny decides to explore the dimensions connected to the Infinite Realms.

[lazylittledragon]

a couple of cheeky morgueweaves from megacon

[vaguely-concerned]

the strength it must have taken for illario to not immediately go full 'lmao since when have you even had a kiss hello lucanis' sibling violence mode during the café talk. inspirational. rook and lucanis really were doing all that right in front of his salad huh

[haootia]

ok i did the math myself. a round trip flight from sydney to hanoi is about $450. assume you do nothing else there that costs money besides buying cigarettes for $1.30 a pack, and then fly them back to australia disguised as aztec calendars or whatever to get around the import taxes. then you sell them in australia for say $27.00 even, undercutting the legal market a little to unload em quickly. you only need to sell 18 packs of cigarettes (grossing $486) to make your money back. the plane ticket plus the amount paid for cigarettes in vietnam ($23.40) is $473.40, netting you $12.60 in profit. however, this also assumes you have a contact in vietnam who's willing to help you forge aztec calendar smuggling containers on the house, including materials, which is kind of a big ask considering the highly specific skillset required. this is why all the really smart people are getting in on the fake aztec calendar forgery ring instead of smuggling cigarettes to australia, and all the really really smart people are selling the raw materials needed to make fake aztec calendars, so basically, my advice is if you want to make some quick cash you should go become a stonemason in vietnam

Marlboro pack price by country.

by plotset